Before It's Too Late
Have you ever considered putting together your own Celebration of Life, before it's too late?
Photo of WWII Home Front Worker Wall of Honor Banners. These posters were designed by the Rosie the Riveter Trust as part of a fund raising project. They were created in one of two sizes and were placed in temporary public displays to help honor WWII home front workers. Source.I honored my mother with one of these banners to celebrate this period of her life, which I didn’t know about until I read through her letters to her brother years after she passed.
I wish they did my celebration of life when I was there to enjoy it. Mark Litzler
Since a friend has recently passed away, I am motivated to delve again into loss of a love one, both for my own peace of mind, and to share with others who may be coping with loss of someone dear to them. Those who knew my friend, including me, haven’t had time to process our feelings. Instead we are dealing with the logistics of honoring our friend, who passed sooner than she (or we) expected. We are creating a Celebration-of-Life.
Celebration-of-Life Definition
A celebration of life service is a type of end-of-life ceremony where people come together to celebrate the unique life of the deceased. Celebrations of life are commonly held after physical remains have been cared for through burial or cremation. Source.
Related End-of-Life Traditions
Before the Pandemic, I attended my spiritual leader’s Celebration of Life, coordinated and led by his adult daughter and son. It was held at a local community center and included participatory storytelling, singing, music, dance, children, mats as well as chairs, food and non-alcoholic beverages, indoor and outdoor terrace. That’s what he would have liked, since he had conducted services with those activities.
When I worked as Regional Director of Engagement & Education for a group of long-term care communities, we held gatherings in the community to honor a deceased community member for family, friends and caregiving staff. We sat in a circle and each person told a brief story about the loved one, sometimes sharing an artifact that they mentioned in their story.
For the week after the community member passed away, we placed on a little table in the front lobby an LED candle, a vase with fresh flowers, and a photo of the deceased.
Staff and friends of the deceased placed petals on the casket as it was carried out of the community. We sang a hymn and shared personal blessings. After the casket left the building, a staff member rang a gong.
Logistics
Because all key friends/relatives were up to their ears in arrangements to give away personal belongings of our beloved sister/friend, I set up a spreadsheet on google sheets and developed with support team members the following categories to search for the appropriate celebration-of-life location:
Organization/spiritual institution
name
on-site address
website address
contact person
email
phone/text
room description (i.e., window, doors, floor level, dimensions, restrooms, accessibility, # of chairs, seating capacity, size & # of tables, podium)
rental fee (minimum # of rental hours, deposit fee, application link, deposit required)
parking lot capability (fee/no fee)
kitchen/catering availability
WiFi availability
Large Screen for slide show or film
Acoustics
Attendant required
Renter insurance required
Notes
Other on-site factors to consider
Catered or potluck (finger-food or utensils)
Time of day
Music preferences of the deceased
Host
Agenda (who speaks when about what)
Spiritual/religious practice of the deceased
Table/sharing of artifacts
Flowers/decorations
Slide show/collage/documenaty film (I volunteered to create a slide show of my friend’s life)
Signage
Cost
Who plans/executes what
It helps to have a team (friends/relatives/other) put together the ceremony. The leader may be the executer of the will (if there is a will). Communication between the leader and the team, at least in the case of those involved in my deceased friend’s ceremony, may be best by texting, with on-site communication and phone calls when possible. The team may prefer text to email.
Distance-delivered alternatives
An alternative to an on-site Celebration of Life:
a distance-delivered celebration conducted by Zoom or other face-time service
OR
a distance-delivered celebration conducted in conjunction with the on-site location if there is sufficient wi-fi capability and acoustics and a large screen.
Moving forward…
Have you ever considered putting together your own Celebration of Life, before you die?
If so, consider the items listed above, especially the following…
Location
Lead organizer
Host
Contributing speakers
Music preferences
Life story slide show or video*
Artifacts
Atmosphere
Invitation
Education and Groups
I don’t plan to leave this earth in the near future, but am moving forward in planning my own Celebration of Life, maybe while I’m still alive, and envisioning more spirituality in my life and communicating with others interested in these activities.
Several years ago I participated in a LeaveLight Facilitator training, (LeaveLight, Holistic End-of-Life Planning, 2010), and more recently, participated in a Zen Hospice training.
Time for an update! Want to join me?
* Sharing a life story interview slide show or video for a loved one or for yourself is much appreciated. You can create this yourself or get help from others. Check out affordable Memory Video, a resource that I use to create life-story video interviews.